Stargirl and the Captain
by NoMoreJacksPlz
Summary: Trio of ficlets exploring the Mal/River dynamic and the unexpected intimacy between them.
1. Stargazing

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is a trio of ficlets I wrote in 2005 and 2006. Though not intended as a series, they seemed to go together well as a collection here.

* * *

**STARGAZING**

He lies in bed, in the dark, counting off the slow minutes. He would sleep, should sleep, but it's easier to wait.

He listens to the creaking of the ship as she settles for the night. The strain of metal here, the drip of water there. _Serenity_ yawns and stretches, and to Mal's ears, it's musical.

In the quiet, he thinks about his crew. All different and, as he's been coming to realize, all vital. Each with a purpose, a will, a heart; each calling _Serenity_ home.

They're all important to him, though he'd rather take a fist to the gut than admit it to them. There are some lines he's not ready to—there are some lines he won't cross.

He checks the clock sitting next to his bed, and it's time. He flips on the light, pulls on his pants and shirt, slips into his boots, and quietly exits, stealing down the passage to the bridge, hearing every clunk of his boots against the grated floor. His heart beats a little faster, though he wills it not to, and his legs carry him to the cockpit, bathed in the cool blue light of a faraway star.

She's there already, curled into the pilot's seat, legs pulled close to her chest, the slender outline of her visible through her thin, white gown, and her long, wavy hair spills over the back of the chair.

She's a girl and a woman and a mystery, and he asks himself again what he's doing there in the middle of the night.

"The brain learns best when it's quiet," River says as he takes the co-pilot seat, and he realizes she's read his mind.

"You know, it's a mite creepy when you do that," he points out. A quick glance from her sends him backpedaling. "Not that, uh, this would be one of those times."

This will be their third astronomy lesson. The first wasn't planned; he'd found her in the cockpit one night, quietly humming a delicate melody as her eyes scanned the stars. He'd almost bludgeoned her with a pipe before he realized who it was. Once calmed, she asked him if he wanted to learn the constellations. Wishing to make retribution, he'd agreed, and an hour had rushed by. The second time, she'd found him in the pilot's seat when he couldn't sleep, and another hour had passed. And this time...this time was not an accident. She'd let him know, in her way, that she'd be there, and he'd let her know, in his, that he would come.

"I want to show you the stars tonight, Malcolm," River says.

He raises a confused eyebrow. "Ain't that what you been doin' already?" he asks, studying her face, trying to figure out what she means, as though she would ever give it away so easily.

She laughs and motions him to come closer. As he stands beside her, her eyes glimmer as she takes his hand and points his fingers to a twinkling group of stars in the distance, and he's very aware that her palm is touching the back of his hand as she says, "But tonight, I want you to _see_ them."

"Am I that blind?" he asks.

"No," she replies. "You're like most. It can take time."

He chuckles to himself and shakes his head. "So I'm slow, is what you're sayin'."

"Don't worry," she reassures him as a slow smile spreads across her face. "I'm patient. I can be very patient.

"In time, you'll see how they dance."


	2. Summer Sundown

**SUMMER SUNDOWN**

He sat in the mouth of _Serenity_, door open to the raspberry-orange dusk sky, breathing in the warm air. Acres of grassy plain stretched in front of him, hiding the cicadas as they chirped their evening songs. The slightest hint of wind ruffled the stillness, and Mal was transported back to his childhood. He could almost smell the warm bread his mother baked and feel the dark, dry dirt in his hands.

Their latest haul, larger than they'd seen in months, had bought them these few days on Averon. Mal had balked when Kaylee had first broached the subject. It was after a chat with Zoe that he'd relented.

_Zoe, I work to keep us in the air, not to play on the ground,_ he'd said.

_Sir,_ she'd replied, _every_ _engine needs refuelin' at some point. Even yours._

He'd been amazed at the change in morale when he'd announced they'd be staying for a couple of days. Kaylee had flitted around excitedly, talkin' to Inara about borrowin' a dress and some perfume for a night out with Simon. Jayne scanned ads for gun shows and "private entertainment." Zoe scheduled a hike in the hills. And River...River had just smiled and made him wonder once again what really went on in that head of hers.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd had time to do nothing...the money to do nothing. For so long, survival had been his highest priority, and he found himself at a loss once it was taken away from him. He'd experienced a weird ache when he watched his crew run down the ramp, off to their own adventures, while he lingered behind.

The sky had begun to turn violet, and Mal closed his eyes, listening to the summery sounds of night waking up. If heaven really existed, a small voice inside his head whispered, he could see it bein' something like this.

The metal floor creaked behind him, and he started.

He turned to see the slim figure of River and made a frustrated face. "Gah! What have I said about not sneakin' up on people, girl?"

River ignored him and sat down next to him, her shoulder brushing his. "I didn't want to disturb your meditation."

"Yeah, well...I wasn't meditatin', and even if, you shouldn't be sneakin' up on people unawares."

"You were recentering. I was just waiting for you to finish."

"I wasn't recen...." He trailed off and gave an amused snort of defeat. "Should know by now arguin' with you don't get me nowhere."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the edges of her lips tip up very slightly.

"Just you wait, though," he continued. "One of these days your intuition ain't gonna work so good. And I'll be right there as to witness that event."

River's lips turned up a fraction more.

For a while, neither said anything as they listened to the cicadas.

"Thought you went to town with Kaylee and Inara," Mal commented after a moment. "Didn't expect you back here."

River tossed her hair. "I did go to town, but I got tired of talking about humping. So I came back."

Mal felt his face catching fire. "Oh."

"I think Kaylee has corrupted my brother. She said that he's gotten very good at using his--"

"Yes, well, there's no need to use detail," Mal interrupted quickly. "We're, uh, all adults here and, uh, knowledgeable about adult things. So there's, uh, no need to share what we, uh, already know. About adult things. That we know."

River just giggled.

As the light outside continued to dwindle, small points of light began to glow and fade before them.

"Well, I'll be," Mal breathed.

"Fireflies," River supplied, her eyes fixated upon the glowing insects meandering through the air.

"Been ages since I saw some of these."

"If you step on them and smash them, they glow a lot. I'd like to glow that way."

Mal gave her a perturbed look. "You and your brain concern me sometimes, darlin'."

To his surprise, she leaned against him and rested her cheek on his shoulder. To his consternation, his pulse skittered at her touch.

"I'm glad," she said.

They sat together as the violet sky turned indigo and then faded to black. Then they stood, and Mal closed the door to _Serenity_ for the night.


	3. Just Like Breathing

**JUST LIKE BREATHING**

"Clear skies tonight," River says, and Mal nods in agreement.

"Yep," he tells her. "Can't do better than a night like tonight."

It's an ocean of black in front of them, dotted by tiny stars, as they sit in the cockpit, River in the pilot's seat, Mal relaxing in the co-pilot's chair. As he watches her twist knobs and push buttons, he's struck again by how quickly she's caught on. _Serenity_ is not an easy ship; she has her own way of doing things, her own mind, her own path to take, and she will gladly throw a pilot who's not worthy of her. Wash had been one of the most talented airmen Mal had ever known, but even he had gone through an adjustment period of sputtering starts and heart-in-throat landings.

For River, it's like breathing.

He wonders where it happens, where the magic begins among the nerves and tissue, where the orders from the brain transcend the mundane and begin to approach art; how slender fingers on a small hand know just how much boost and how much tilt are required for a smooth ride; how the slightest stroke from a girl just crossing the threshold of womanhood has the power to throw the whole ship into spin, cause it to blast off, burn through the black, and then set down with balletic grace.

He's never been a great pilot himself. Competent, good, even, but nothing approaching the perfection housed by the delicate sapling sitting to his side. Her ability scares and awes and inspires him, and he's not sure which feeling he likes best. There is so much he doesn't know about her and probably never will, yet he's discovered a quiet comfort in her presence when they're guiding _Serenity_, working together to get his most precious possession to her next destination. When he's here, with her, he feels closest to his ship, and the least need to say anything, and the most understood. How this is possible...he's wondered that, too.

"Inara says staring is impolite," River says, interrupting his thoughts, and Mal quickly averts his eyes.

"Didn't mean to be," he says. His eyes slide back to watch her tap in some coordinates to the computer, then fluidly push a lever up a few notches. A funny thrill stirs in his stomach, and he takes a risk. "Just like watchin' you do what you do, is all."

She doesn't look at him, but he can see her smile, and offers a small one in return.

The navigator beeps, and some diagrams pop up on the screen.

"Looks like easy sailing from here to Whitefall," River says, reading the report.

"That's music to my ears, darlin'. Remind me that we need to impress upon Patience the need for some new capacitor cells. Kaylee's been gettin' on my case about that."

"I'll remind you."

They travel in smooth silence for a few moments, the stars drifting slowly by.

"Mal," River says.

"Yeah?"

She turns to him with her most winsome expression. "Permission to let her rip?"

He glances out the window, then back at her, suppressing a groan. Fuel is precious, but she knows he loves a good burn. He does the math quickly in his head. They'll make it...most likely. Just this once, for her, he'll allow it.

"Permission granted."

She breaks out into a full grin as her fingers flurry over the controls. "Get ready," she says. "I've been practicing some new tricks."

He raises an eyebrow. "When?"

"In my brain."

As they shoot off into the black, he steals another look at her, sees the light reflected in her eyes, and marvels all over again.

Just like breathing.


End file.
